Since I've Moved to the UP

Since I’ve moved to the UP
my beard has gotten bigger

I’ve had an oven explode in my face
and I drink beer in the attic for next to no reason

I’ve calmed down
and learned to be friendly

When I walk I smell spruce and backyard barbecues

The meth-heads are less violent than the crackheads
but far weirder

There are no gangs because the bears control everything

The food culture is a vegan craving a steak
and the buildings are old and beautiful
and all the transients look like trappers
and the beer is good and a bum can live
like a king on cans and I’m in love
with the big red lighthouse and the fog horns
that carry me into slightly restless dreams

© 2016 Lee Kitzis

The Day an Oven Exploded in My Face or Sunday Funday

I was nearing the end of my shift
and just had to get the fluffed garlic potatoes
out as an accompaniment
to the whole roasted chicken

I took a look in the bottom oven
and before I could assess my potato situation
there was a BANG! that crumpled me
hat and glasses flying singed hair
blood gushing from my head

I thought of my wife and my unborn kid
and what’s that burning smell oh it’s me
that’s not good lemmee just go ahead
and feel the top of my head oh fuck me
no bueno it’s hospital time
don’t let this be my obit
barely published poet dies
after oven explodes in his face

but it wasn’t my time
and the doctor was nice and quick with the stitches
and flirted with me a little and my wife
held back the tears and then calmed down and said
“maybe now I can beat you at Scrabble”

and I know what matters now
I know

I love my wife
and I love my kid

and those potatoes
those potatoes

those potatoes needed 3 more minutes

© 2016 Lee Kitzis