Obama To-do List

1. create a fiscally responsible economic stimulus package.

2. air out cheney's corpse feeding room.

3. victory pound wife.

4. netflix

5. nap

6. do tony montana-sized mound of coke and stay up for three years 350 days fixing the mire of shit left behind by the bush administration.

7. get re-elected.

8. become ruler of own island where karl rove, dick cheney, g.w. bush, lindsey graham, tom delay, and every other jagoff republican has to wrestle to the death.

9. kill the winner.