I pitched my new children's book idea to my friend Ian today and he dug it.
It would be called Everyone Dies.
Like Everyone Poops it would have pictures to go with the examples. There would be "Your Grandma" with a picture of your dead grandma. "Your Postman" with a picture of your dead postman. "Some Guy at the Greyhound Station" with a picture of a dead guy on a bench at a Greyhound station. Finally there would be "You" with a picture of a child coffin.
Ian and I both laughed at this because we're sick.
Happy Mother's Day.
Showing posts with label Ian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ian. Show all posts
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
A Simple Poem About Girl Scout Cookies (for Ian)
Ian and I drank a lot of gin
and then we went to an Eastern-themed restaurant
to watch the hockey game
the waiter didn't like us
and the bartender didn't like us
mainly because Ian was wearing a Cannibal Corpse t-shirt
and I hadn't shaved in days
I had a bag of Girl Scout cookies
don't ask me why
and I ate them on the way home
nobody looked at each other on the train
the cream filling in the Lemon Chalets was my favorite
I ate as many as I could on the Blue Line
got off
and left them all behind
the rats were waking up
the people were going home
I stuck the thin mints in the freezer
and felt good
the little things still mattered
I didn't like thin mints
© 2009 Lee Kitzis
and then we went to an Eastern-themed restaurant
to watch the hockey game
the waiter didn't like us
and the bartender didn't like us
mainly because Ian was wearing a Cannibal Corpse t-shirt
and I hadn't shaved in days
I had a bag of Girl Scout cookies
don't ask me why
and I ate them on the way home
nobody looked at each other on the train
the cream filling in the Lemon Chalets was my favorite
I ate as many as I could on the Blue Line
got off
and left them all behind
the rats were waking up
the people were going home
I stuck the thin mints in the freezer
and felt good
the little things still mattered
I didn't like thin mints
© 2009 Lee Kitzis
Friday, February 13, 2009
Jameson and Swedish Fish was a Bad Idea (Birthday Poem for Brian)
Long night
last night
Five minutes into my workday
Ian dropped his phone
asked me to pick it up
I did
there was a picture of his balls
as the screensaver
he ballphoned me good
One of the old guys
who volunteers
tried to engage me in conversation
He pulled out
his entire arsenal
of senior citizen bullshit
“Museum’s dead”
“Howabout that Blagojevich”
“Went to Disneyland with the family in ‘79”
“Satellite crash”
It is Thursday February 12, 2009
last night
was a long night
of Jameson and Swedish Fish
It was Brian’s birthday
and we ate and we drank
Today
there’s a bipolar Gummi bear
in my stomach
It’s got nowhere to go
like an old guy volunteering
at a dead museum
yammering away
while I try to write a poem for my buddy
The ballphoning never ends
© 2009 Lee Kitzis
last night
Five minutes into my workday
Ian dropped his phone
asked me to pick it up
I did
there was a picture of his balls
as the screensaver
he ballphoned me good
One of the old guys
who volunteers
tried to engage me in conversation
He pulled out
his entire arsenal
of senior citizen bullshit
“Museum’s dead”
“Howabout that Blagojevich”
“Went to Disneyland with the family in ‘79”
“Satellite crash”
It is Thursday February 12, 2009
last night
was a long night
of Jameson and Swedish Fish
It was Brian’s birthday
and we ate and we drank
Today
there’s a bipolar Gummi bear
in my stomach
It’s got nowhere to go
like an old guy volunteering
at a dead museum
yammering away
while I try to write a poem for my buddy
The ballphoning never ends
© 2009 Lee Kitzis
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