Jews vs. Gentiles

I was walking to the blue line
when I saw this group
head bowed in prayer
it was a half-dozen teenagers
and a homeless man
and when they lifted their heads
the homeless man said thank you
and the teenagers blessed him
and walked off smiling
the good lord having blessed one of them
with many back zits
and the rest
with North Face coats
and the homeless man wished them
a happy Easter
and rattled off the names
of any foods he could think of
some of which didn’t even exist
and the kids giggled
and crossed the street
and the sun was shining
even though it was 40 degrees
and the bum ran out of food combinations
and the whole thing was sad
‘til I remembered the piece of pork
stuck in the back of my teeth
and thought of Jesus on the cross
dying for a non-practicing Jew
and some teenagers
and I immediately went home
and flossed
because I’m an Atheist
not an asshole

© 2009 Lee Kitzis

Roll Call

Fat faux-Bostonian jagoff with Ray-Bans on and a suede jacket

check

Six-foot-four pederast in a Boy Scout shirt

check

Angry father in a North Face coat and his screaming children

check

Fake-titted cougar

check

Guy who makes ten times more than you
but still refuses to wear deodorant

check

Great
gang's all here

Here's Lee's work schedule

Before we start
I have some sad news to report

Polite guy who clearly understands basic instructions
died yesterday

Yea I killed him

so anyway

go out there and have fun

fart in the simulators
scream at your children
smell like onions
really put forth some effort

you were slacking a little yesterday

one of you left when the Omnimax film was over

fat jagoff
I'm looking in your direction

Alright
I guess that's it

Lee's lunch is at 11:15 today

so make sure you're back by noon

He might leave early

so I'm gonna need one of you to take the train with him

Homeless guy who clearly didn't wipe his ass just volunteered

anything else?
nope?
great
go get 'im

© 2009 Lee Kitzis