Another Day on the Job

I close my eyes

Scarlett Johansson’s giving me a back rub

and the St. Louis Cardinals are all dead

I open them

a gentleman wants to know how to get the plastic off the top of his tequila bottle

He is very large

I tell him he should rip it

this is the correct answer
and it makes him angry

I close my eyes

I’ve got my best suit on

people are buying me tickets to France for some reason

I go
and fall in love w/ a cognac distiller’s daughter
or Audrey Tautou

we make love
wet from the rain
and skinny dipping in the river of the louvre

I open them

my balls are huge
and there’s 9 stolen liters of Johnnie Walker Black today

a gentleman is screaming about salami to the customer service desk

he is a 50-year-old trust fund kid

they let him out of the mental institution on weekends

I close my eyes

I’m playing 7-card Stud with John Coltrane

We finish and have a steak

then Scarlett Johansson shows up and gives us a back rub

I open my eyes

I am writing this on the toilet

I am not a romantic

I close them

the war is over

we lost

and people are having gasoline orgies

I open my eyes

That drunk couple’s back again

they’re giggling at the sakes

Jesus christ

go home

I close them

You’re waiting in a sundress

I tell you the problem

you tell me the answer

I don’t remember the words

but I remember you look good

I open my eyes

it’s 9 o’ clock

I punch out

go home

close them

and go to sleep

© 2008 Lee Kitzis