For Erik and Courtney

I once called you the worst Buddhist ever

and I meant it
in the best possible way

it’s Thanksgiving
and I’m working

surrounded by weird Europeans Koreans the suicidal
Gary, Indiana’s finest drive-in accidents in Wal-Mart jeans

thinking of your limitless compassion

and being thankful for that

and Courtney’s limitless patience

which you should be thankful for

because there are not many girls

that would see a 6-ft-6 Danish Buddhist

w/ nothing on
but a dirty bathrobe
and a beer in hand

and stick around

but w/ Jesus in her heart
and a couple screwdrivers
she did

for 3 years

and then she married you

so this Thanksgiving

I say hallelujah for you Courtney

and hallelujah for you Erik

and hallelujah for you Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Todd
whatever your name is

you work in mysterious ways

© 2009 Lee Kitzis

Fuck Santa Claus, I Want Some Latkes (Hanukkah Poem for My Family)

An SUV pulls up
there’s a giant menorah on top
five Orthodox Jews get out

they pile into the abandoned bus stop
and pull out cigarettes

they smoke
in their yarmulkes
and probably aren’t talking Torah

it is the third day of Hanukkah

this is the best gift I could get

and the best gift I could give

as Santa Claus farts in the wind

and the snow melts

as families sing songs
about god and struggle and joy

and Atheists order Chinese food
and play internet poker

I say a small silent amen

for you

for chain-smoking Jews

for all eight days

© 2009 Lee Kitzis

Alone in a Conference Room on a Sunday Afternoon

I spilled ramen on my lap

Hung over and too tired to do anything about it
I looked at it

It looked like someone blew their brains out
all over my khakis

Then I looked up

There was no god there to tell me why

Just a cheap cardboard ceiling

and 4 hours left on the clock

it was a quiet
little suicide

© 2009 Lee Kitzis

Holding Clipboards, Holding my Farts in

Day after Thanksgiving
and they've got me in the museum membership line

The membership levels are separated into degrees:

Associate's, Bachelor's, Master's, Doctorate

Asshole, bigger asshole, mega asshole, old money

I have my back to the wall
so no one can see the hole in my pants

I'm a jr. asshole

The skeletal remains of midwestern housewives and men of god
validating their parking

The weight of the world

as I let one go

it escapes through the black hole in my pants

and into the science of things

© 2009 Lee Kitzis