A Foreigner's Guide to Granada

When in Granada
keep everything in your front pockets

and don't eat the pizza

Don't wear a fanny pack

and don't trust anyone wearing a fanny pack

store olives in your mouth
like a squirrel

listen to the brook

name every street dog "Javi"

then

tear up this poem

and walk slowly

through the Albaicin district

getting as lost

as you possibly can

amidst the gypsies
and tomatoes

ripening in the sun

© 2012 Lee Kitzis

Amor En Granada

Forgive me Lorca

In the states
I worked as a prep cook

and lost my muse
amidst the obscene
hours of dawn
and too familiar streets

I traveled 4,000 miles

stray dogs barking por jamon

the weathered butchers

battling insomnia

my mind a mess

my lovely wife by my side

she says

"Look! I've cleaned the clothes!"

she's excited

we're spoiled Norteamericanos

we've never hung a thing out to dry

she combs her hair
by the window

I kiss her

forgive me Lorca

I traveled 4,000 miles

and didn't lose a thing

© 2012 Lee Kitzis

Mike

It was a cripplingly early
baker's hour

I had 20 baguettes going
in the oven
when the phone rang

"Hey, it's Mike.
Is Ashley there?"

"No."

"Who is this?"

"Lee."

"Well, next time you answer the phone
why don't you say your name
so I know who the hell it is."

I hadn't even had my first cup of coffee
so I couldn't think of a good comeback.

I also didn't know
who Mike was.

"Is Julia there?"

"She stepped out."

"Could you tell her I called?"

"Okay."

He thanked me

which I thought was weird

A minute later Julia walked in

"Some dickhead named Mike called looking for you."

She smiled

She knew who Mike was

His phone etiquette

had finally paid off

© 2012 Lee Kitzis

Angel Doesn't Live Here

Cops kept coming to my door
2, 3 times a day they knocked
asking for "Angel"

I kept telling them
"Angel doesn't live here"

they showed me his mugshot

he looked like his crime
fat, tired
domestic abuse, bodily harm

"never seen the guy before," I told them

eventually the cops stopped showing up

maybe they caught him

or maybe Angel found his nice little slice of heaven
held up in a safe house
in a nowhere barrio
a Pringle can filled w/ cigarette butts
that dangerous look in his eyes

American as apple pie

either way
I didn't care

I just wanted Angel and the cops
to leave me alone

just go

and take the whole hell of existence with them

somewhere else

© 2012 Lee Kitzis

1 Table, 4 Chairs

We had two set-ups

one large one
stage
500 chairs
upright piano
in the concert hall

and a small one
a table
and 4 chairs
in the conference room

that was easy
I thought

we hung out in shop
the whole crew
cruising the internet
and ribbing each other

we were on the clock
with nothing left to do

it felt good
a nice change of pace

then I got called to the conference room
my boss met me outside the door

"this isn't going to be good"
he said

I walked in
two of the chairs were taken
one by an effeminate higher-up
and one by a woman I had never seen before

I knew what was going to happen
I had been through it before

they had their best sympathy frowns on

my boss was a good guy
a body builder
a gentle giant
who had clawed his way up
from our position
and went to bat for us
whenever he could

I knew he was the only one of the three
who actually gave a shit

who had a real frown

the other two
sat in their chairs

the chairs that had been set up
by myself

and the next guy they would call in
and the next

they handed me all the packets
I wouldn't read

we shook hands

and I left

I had done my job for the day

and they had done theirs

a little too well

© 2012 Lee Kitzis