Crowd Control

The janitor and I stood there

watching the president honor the employees

“a special shout-out to Dave
who took it upon himself
to point out the TVs in the U505 exhibit
were distracting the customers from leaving
at the end of the day

no one from Guest Experiences mentioned this

but he took it upon himself
to put the TVs on timers

Now they shut off
at the end of the day

and crowd control is easier

Thank you Dave”

applause
cheers

The janitor didn’t say a thing

He just played with the toothpick
in his mouth

his eyes glassy
from Christian Brothers

I sipped my coffee
and looked at the cathedral-like ceiling

estimating how far a man could fall from it

without dying

then the president introduced

a woman with beautiful legs

she said there would be a pancake breakfast
in a week

I estimated a good 60 ft

the woman with the beautiful legs left

and sat down

I would never have her
or a driver’s license

They opened the floor for Q&A
someone asked what they planned to do
about the recent salary cuts
and increased food prices
in the cafeteria

the vice president
came to the mic
looked at the audience
and said
“anything’s possible”

then he left

and no one said anything

Just then
a toothpick fell to the ground

I looked up
and saw the janitor

61 ft in the air

“Anything’s possible!”
he screamed

then he plummeted

and hit the ground

dead on impact

I guess he was a waffle man

© 2010 Lee Kitzis