Happy New Year

Lee: I could be Ethiopian.

Brian: You could be. But you're not.

guh...

AOL's Hot Searches for the day are Scarlett Johansson, NFL, Hanukkah, and unemployment.

I need to go to bed.

follow-up to poker haiku

so, after plugging away for some time i managed to dig myself out of the bad beat mire to make...are you ready?...drum roll please...30 cents!

"congratulations lee! you've grinded your way through a field of hundreds! what are you going to do with the money?!"

"well, chip! it's tough. i'm deciding between a bag of 25 vitners cheeze kurls or a postage stamp."

"well, lee. we're very proud of you and can't wait to have you back to be the object of every donkey's suck-out."

"i can't wait either, chip! i can't fucking wait!"

poker haiku written on a very bad day

Wake up with aces

go to bed with dick in hand

and the cable bill

© 2008 Lee Kitzis

episode at work today

me: put the seat belt around your waist.

customer: how do i do that?

me: put the seat belt around your waist.

A Town and a Bar

Dave and I once went to this bar called
The Green Door or The Red Door or something

it was quiet studio-size two-dollar screw-drivers
3 ex-cons sitting at 3 separate stools

I remember this bar

because it was the first time I ever thought I might get stabbed

we finished our drinks and got the hell out of there

The ex-cons silent

I remember this bar

because it reminds me of who I am

a guy afraid of getting stabbed

while some ex-cons sit silent

thinking of legitimate jobs

Not too long after that
the mayor of the town that bar was in got arrested

I think it was embezzlement

She’s probably out by now

and the ex-cons are probably back in

or worse

working legitimate jobs

I don’t care much for Cicero, Illinois

© 2008 Lee Kitzis

Résumé

I shaved my head in December

that was a bad idea

I cooked for a girl that likes to fist fight

that was a bad idea too

I tried to bluff against a huge stack w/ two pair on the board and a lousy kicker

not a good idea

I crapped my pants in third grade

embarrassed I took them off and streaked down the hall w/ my coat pulled down over my rear

Bad idea

no one bought it

I became a poet at 14

Good idea in high school

Bad idea later

Since then my writing has gotten better

my limit hold‘em game too

I make a mean tilapia ceviche

for myself

I also crap my pants less

and have a degree in journalism

© 2008 Lee Kitzis

I Remember Where I Was When it Happened

Was at work a couple days ago, stationed by the exit.

A customer came up to the door. Stared blankly at it. Then at me.

Took me a few seconds before I realized what he wanted.

"Push it," I told him.

He did.

It worked.

It was 10:23 A.M.

as he walked out the door

of the Henry Crown Museum

of Space Exploration

and drove somewhere

far away.

© 2008 Lee Kitzis