Harry Potter

Working the night shift at the museum
I've never wanted a drink more in my life

It's the Omnimax late show of Harry Potter
which means we get two groups

Kids in Marilyn Manson t-shirts
and adults who can't cope with reality

A 300 pound Chinese guy tells me he needs to use the washroom
I tell him he should exit at the top
he says he'd prefer to exit at the bottom

before the words "I bet" could come out of my mouth
he's out the bottom door

All the villains look predictable
there's the kid who looks like Blade Runner
the guy who looks like David Bowie did it with the Toxic Avenger
Helena Bonham Carter looks like Helena Bonham Carter with bad teeth

I like that the bad guys win though
not because I'm a jerk
but because I hate children
and like watching the loss of hope in their little eyes

and I'm sure they'll make another one where they find the thing that does the thing and the clouds part and light shines through and Daniel Radcliffe is 37-years-old

but until then

it's martini time somewhere
far away from Hogwarts

and I've never wanted a drink more in my life

© 2009 Lee Kitzis