Real Facts

They’ve stocked the break room
with old issues of fashion and tabloid magazines

so lunchtime consisted of rice and this

oh and also some Snapple

“Snapple Real Fact: Giraffes have no vocal chords”

Another real fact is that if I hear this Dave Matthews Band
soundtrack to this water conservation movie one more time
I’m going to paper-cut my eyeball with this June 2007 Glamour

All the models are wearing glasses
lips parted and looking to the right

as Dave Matthews pumps out another faux-ballad
I think of them simultaneously shitting
in the woods in the exact same pose

and they say fashion isn’t an art

another real fact is that I have to
operate the flight simulators in 15 minutes

also my boss can’t spell

Right now
there are more fat people in museums
than Sandusky, Ohio

also lunchtime is over

that’s a real fact too

© 2009 Lee Kitzis