An American Retail Hymn

I said unto God
“deliver me from retail”

and God said back
“here’s a price-gun dipshit.
Get to work.”

and he smote me
w/ seasonal Bailey’s Irish creams and cargo pants
shots of wheatgrass and Harry Chapin Christmas giveaway CDs

and I sayeth
“why God why”

and he sayeth back unto me

“Follow the 15 stupid customers
in Indiana University sweat pants
and they will show you the way”

so
for 40 days
and 40 nights
we wandered the aisles of Jewel/Osco
in search of Yellow Tail Shiraz
and Jays Dip‘ems potato chips

until finally
weak from hunger and fatigue
we all reached the promised land

a pensionless death
in Albany

and let U.S. say
amen

© 2008 Lee Kitzis