Father's Day Poem

I was watching
a special
on MSNBC
on notorious convicts
and they interviewed
this one
who was convinced
his father was preventing
the second coming of Christ
so he slit his throat
then opened up his head
and ate his brains
all while singing
The Battle Hymn of the Republic
and I don’t condone
slitting your father’s throat
and I certainly don’t condone
eating his brains
but I also
didn’t find him
any weirder
than old ladies
buying pickle barrels
at Sam’s Club
or middle-aged men
in golf caps and short-shorts
beer gut hanging
out of an Ohio State
Rose Bowl
t-shirt
paying 5 dollars
to ride the flight simulator
and as I explain
the directions to him
I’ll think of you
you didn’t fuck up
raising me
other than making me
a Cubs fan
and you’re an Atheist
and neither of us
care about the first coming
let alone the second
so this Father’s Day
you can keep your brains
old man
I’m sure Jesus
would’ve wanted it that way

© 2009 Lee Kitzis